i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
When my kids ask how I lost my virginity Im going to have to tell them of a mythical thing called "Myspace" and how strangers could lure you into their "den of love" thanks to clever quotes and graphics
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
You can't just call animal control when you're drunk because there is a bug in the shower.
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
You don't make any sense
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