Hey sorry for feelin' up your date. Sadly, this is a mass txt.
you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
Randomize
