glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
Fuck appropriateness.
you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
Also I hooked up with a trainer at my gym. Between her, the married chick, and the bartender, my life is becoming a bad porn plot.
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
My goal in life is to ruin sex for someone. To be so mindblowingly unreal that they can never find anyone like me ever again. So far it's going well.
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
Randomize
