I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
Then you screamed in her face to shut up about thick thighs saving lives because actually they can suffocate people during oral sex
Drunk me is very safety conscious And apparently just as annoyed by her as sober me
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