You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
Randomize
