If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
I'm so stoned I just sat here for like at least 45 min thinking about how I would get some jack in the box tacos if only I knew where my wallet was and then I kind of blinked and finally noticed I had literally been staring at my wallet the ENTIRE fucking time
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
Randomize
