pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
It's like "hey I give your roommate blowjobs twice a week, want to connect on LinkedIn?"
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
Randomize
