Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
This Xanax laced vodka tonic will help me forget that all these spring breakers are all young enough to have been my students.
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
You left me on the phone while you grabbed a plastic bag and started puking. I recorded it. Its my new ringtone for you
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
you are never too drunk for berry picking
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
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