lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
we made out on top of his cat.
by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
Unless you watched your mom's very literal rendition of "I touch myself" while she was wearing a bikini, your vacation wasn't as bad as mine.
Just stole a pregnancy test from Wegmans because I didn't want to pay 13 dollars to find out my life is over.
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
Randomize
