C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
Hangover cure: shower, throw up again, sleep for 4 hours, eat salsa, brush teeth. Good to go.
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It's glorious.
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
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