Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
Favorite thing said to me in 2012: It's like you have two tongues!
Were you keeping a list?
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
Randomize
