He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
he was CRYING into my vagina
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
Randomize
