hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
What tipped you off? The sombrero?
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
My cab driver just suggested I brush my teeth because he can smell "the party" on me.
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
I think I've been inadvertently participating in a contest to see how many times I can show up to work hungover in my first year of teaching. And I'm the only participant. Not sure if I'm winning or losing.
You randomly sent me a black Santa Claus emoji at 2am. I think alcohol was involved.
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
Randomize
