people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
Randomize
