What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
I lost my phone so I put sticky notes all over my roommates body asking her to wake me up at 7:00 AM.
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
I just hope the day something happens to me my phone just dies, like literally died and will never turn on ever again. I feel like God owes me that much.
Apparently last night I yelled "the cops were called on a mother fucker and that mother fucker is me." And then proceeded to exorcise a sandwitch.
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
Randomize
