so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
You told the guy in Wawa you needed his hoagie for "a scavenger hunt" and then called him a "fuckstained Muggle" when he didn't give it to you. You are a delight.
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
Randomize
