If you don't answer the phone then I will be forced to leave you a wonderful voicemail of me throwing up
she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
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