i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
Less adorably, the dog stared me down, yelping, while I gave him a morning blowie.
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
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