you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
He is indeed a crazy mutha fucka. But mark my words. MARK MY WORDS. My job has placed me at the same party as Tom Cruise. I. Am. Fucking. The. Crazy. Out. Of . That. Alien . Fucker.
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
Randomize
