He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
Mom, I'm really sorry you saw my naked ex-boyfriend in the living room this morning. I can explain....but I'd rather just stick with this apology and be done with it
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
Randomize
