haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
This dudes playing guitar and singing outside our window and he's like "ravioli is beterrrrrrr than tortelliniIii cause tortelliniiii is shaped like fucking ears"
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
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