so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
You're the only person I know who could blow literal chunks, laugh about it, then proceed to shotgun another beer. Love you champ.
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
Pro tip: if you can avoid puking on your carpet, do so. Cleaning it up is absolutely no fun at all.
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
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