Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
I'm going to start using the hurricane naming system for my hangovers. Hangover Agatha is a real bitch today.
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
Randomize
