Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
Randomize
