Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
We fucked, she finished, high fived me, the pulled a celebratory pack of gushers out of her purse for each of us. I'm going to marry your sister dude.
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
why does every cop we meet know your name?
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
Randomize
