Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
Theres a picture of you standing next to a John Wayne cardboard cutout that says dont drink and drive. your buddy is shirtless holding a beer and youre holding your keys up with marker on your face.
I just spend twenty minutes scrubing the "Happy Birthday" off of my vagina. He's never gonna forget this.
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
No more cocaine. I spent two hours in my bathroom convincing myself I was ugly. Is this what a period feels like?
You're the worst gay friend ever.
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
had a dream that i inhaled my pet bird and started choking. Then I tried smoking from a bong and suddenly I smoked myself inside out. this is what happens when I don't smoke weed. my brain can't function!
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize
