Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
I have to drop off my inflatable penis costume at the bar for my bartender. Do you think you could meet me there at like 630?
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
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