is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
I'm going to write a new song and call it "Did I wax my vagina for this?" remind me to never go across the country for a penis ever again.
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
You peed on a flamingo?!?
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
Randomize
