i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
He sent me a 7 minute voicemail of him playing wonderwall on the acoustic guitar I'm not even kidding did he seriously think that would work
I didn't notice because vodka
I can't handle dick pics with conversational captions
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
You know you have hit the best years of your life when you enlist the 5 year old to be ball boy during beer pong and pay him with candy you stole from Walgreens
They have beer where we have blood.
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
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