So is it bad that I'm using this 21 year old for his hot bod and utter naivety?
No its what 21 year olds are made for
I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
he sent me this 10 second long video of a gorilla eating a banana on my phone. no explanation. I didn't even have his number. just. a gorilla eating a banana.
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
I just got turned down by a drunk fat chick. At my own birthday party. God hates me.
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
My life is over. I farted in open court. Noticeably. The judge looked at me. It echoed.
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
Randomize
