we have pet lesbian snakes
Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
Randomize
