glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore
So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
A guy just tried to send me a pic of his penis & my phone sent me a disclaimer saying "the components were unsuitable for your terminal"
Even your phone knows you shouldn't sleep with him...
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
I told two kids in their homecoming outfits to use a condom because of Ebola. I may have saved a life last night
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
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