Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
If you're on a tempurpedic mattress do you think you can feel if someone is jacking off right next to you?
Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too
Monday: I just need a drink Tuesday: OMG no more this week! Wednesday: oh shit how'd I get drunk Thursday: I'm glad you've stopped the pretenses
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
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