This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
so you know how i got laid the other night? well a condom just came out of me and i dont know whether to be grossed out or happy
i am grossed the fuck out
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
Dude I'm 99% sure I'm witnessing an e-harmony date at panera, prob late 40's, this is better than the movies.
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
Randomize
