Erica just called me. She woke up in a storage closet in Mike's building with one shoe and no bag. Can you check your photos from last night to see if she had it at the bar?
I wish I only lived at night.
Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
If a weird guy texts you in the near future asking if you are satan just go with it
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
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