$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.
I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
He looked down at his phone and screamed "I'M NOT A DAD!" and then bought the entire bar a round
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
I've been smelling a baby wipe for three minutes. I didn't think I was that drunk but I guess I am
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
Randomize
