If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
Dental hygienist just pulled two flakes of glitter out. And asked me how i've been doing with the divorce.
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
Randomize
