I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
Randomize
