I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
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