Farmville is her only friend.
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
Instead of texting me to come over, she just sends me a batman symbol.
I don't care if she's a booty call. Marry her.
Randomize
