I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
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