No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
im so horny i just used my electric toothbrush to masturbate. god help me
When I'm drunk and can't pee, I sing my abc's in my head and try to pee before I get to pee. Last night I forgot to do it in my head
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
I woke up with my phone plugged into an extension cord in my garage. No clue how I got home. Videos of me flogging my roommate with my set of keys telling him he's the worst roommate ever. And my mom woke me up at 8am asking how to make a DVD...Goddamnit first Friday.
Wait what do you mean I BOUGHT A FUCKING HORSE LAST NIGHT?!?!
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