Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
they call him Oral-B. enough said
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
Randomize
