It wouldn't matter if you are Jesus Christ himself, you are not getting into the bar tonight
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
It finally happened. Some guy just tried to catfish me with my own dick pic. Of course I told him that it was the hottest dick I'd ever seen and that I would do anything for that particular dick.
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
Randomize
