the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
theres bread in your mailbox im going to eat it
nevermind its newpaper
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
i out mim tonsoeep
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
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