Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
It's my birthday. I should be drinking mimosas in a top hat, not working.
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