i would punch a child for taco bell
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
you left a paper here that says 'to do list' but it looks like you just wrote "drink a bunch of cough syrup and watch Who's the Boss" like 60 times
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
Had mirculous sex while watching miracle. Until she got mad that I kept quoting the movie. Not my fault I'm a good multi-tasker
Do you believe in miracles?
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
Randomize
