Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
Imagine a baby lion feeding on an injured gazelle and it tasting fresh blood for the first time. That's me and this breakfast sammich
Rubbed one out while on hold to buy tickets to Disneyland. Feel simultaneously like a freak and strangely productive.
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
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