His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
