She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
I looked at him all bewildered and he said, "what? I figured if it was under 30 seconds it'd be free."
Just opened a beer with eyelash curlers... miss you.
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
He acted like he was sleep fucking because I woke up to him screwing me in the middle of the night and he had is eyes closed and was mumbling things the whole time and wouldn't respond to me.
Is that even possible?
I called him by the wrong name to test him and he instantly stopped, rolled over and acted like he was still sleeping...I think he might break up with me tomorrow.
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
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