I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
I distinctly remember calling the anesthesiologist a "sneaky little bastard" directly to his face
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
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