I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
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